well a lot's happened since my last update. essentially i went on a long streak where i was in one of my more recent addictions from about a year ago... minecraft. i essentially wasted a decent chunk of july and half of august on it. though the addicition wasn't nearly as bad as the first time i got it.... that time it was a six month stretch where i could do nothing but play minecraft. Ironically i got out of that addiction the same way as i got out of it this time, which is planning to move out of my parent's house. surprisingly when i devote some time to figuring out a plan and budgeting to move out of the house it get's me extra motivated to stop wasting my time. so basically the thought that i had last night was what do i need to see in my trading to prevent me from needing a job to pay for my move out? well first off it'll take me at least 2 month's to prove that i can be consistent enough to prove that i can size up enough to pay for a small 1k monthly budget to move to and live in mexico. if i donn't have a consistent streak over 15 trade's on panic's within the next two month's i'm gonna haftah get a job. if i'm not consistently green over those trade's then i'm gonna need to get a job to pay for the move. so i'm essentially planning to be ready to move by december 31st. though it probably mean's absolutely nothing to anyone reading this, to me this is my motivation i've found and since asking these question's i feel no desire at all to waste my time on minecraft. and overall feel hopefull about trading again. a big focus of mine for my panic's right now to make this happen is that i just NEED to pop a viagra and grow a pair. i think i'll adopt grittany's risk management structure to get by this fear of trading i have. perhap's if i define my fear and keep to it i'll show me that being scared to trade a setup that i have quite a bit of experience in is pretty ludicrous.