I wasn't away I just thought alot about my goal and what I did to accomplish it.
First of all: I am now down $3500 which is 35% of my whole account. I'm not proud of it and it feels bad. Obviously I did things wrong but I found a lot of leaks which I am about to fix.
I am going to tell you about the mistakes I did. I wrote a lot into my analog/offline trading diary about my emotions, plans, visions, feelings. I read a book about trading psychology by Birger Schäfermeier called "Einfach Traden" the english title would be "Just Trade" it's a deep inside in his psychology and he is a very profitable trader which makes this book a must read for pros and newbies. But you can get it only in German.
The biggest mistakes I made:
I started to ask questions to my subconscious brain and tried to get answers through it. Sometimes it takes a while but often I get the answer immediately.
So I asked my self "Why do I give away my profits and let them turn into losers"?
The answer to that came up after 2 weeks after I repeatedly asked my self the same question. I had this inner belief that I don't need money to be truely happy. This belief was inside me because my dad always used to say: " My sons; all we need is us we don't need more that's all we need to be happy we don't need to be rich as long as we have us." He was right up to a specific time because back then I was just a kid and I didn't need money. All my brother and I needed where our mom and dad and nothing more. This made me believe money doesn't count in life to be happy and that's why I gave away my gains turned them into losses and closed my positions with a loss. But this belief is just not true. Not anymore. This belief limited my growth, I was stuck and I changed it. Let me show you how.
My girlfriend, my son and my family and friends are my base. They are my greatest gift which is great and an absolute must have for me. I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. They are my fuel and inspiration every single day. But furthermore I need safety and here comes money into play.
So I started to ask my self: "Vincent, who is responsible how much you earn? Who decides how much is enough?" And at his point I always saw my dad sitting at our table saying what he has said. I changed the picture in my mind to that question. I replaced my dad's saying with my inner me and the inner me answers:
"I am now absolute certain that I take profits but not just take them. I am now ready to earn more than I can spent each month. I am ready to receive true welth and abundance so that I can help others so that they can also get to point of certainty and clarity. I am a profitable trader and I do everything it takes with daily discipline, focus, patience and passion to live a life beyond the sky."
It took me 43 days to get to this level. I feel released and very well and easy.
And by the way my I trade now far more disciplined, with more focus and patience. I had the passion before but I just didn't know how to handle it.
Since about 3 weeks I don't lose and trade breakeven now if not slightly profitable. Which is a clear improvement. Thank you Birger Schäfermeier you helped me a lot here.
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